John Joseph’s 90-Year Life Lessons for Workplace People Pleasers
Edition 24: Life Wisdom for Civilians from a US Army Veteran
Edition #024: Life Wisdom for Civilians from a 90-Year-Old U.S. Army Veteran
My mission with this newsletter is simple but ambitious: to help 100,000 professionals shift from being ‘People Pleasers’ to becoming ‘Culture-Builders.’
If you’ve been with me on this journey, you already know: this newsletter isn’t just about work life. This newsletter is more about the quiet revolutions we lead inside ourselves in how we speak up, set boundaries, show up, and shape the culture around us, in all spheres of our lives.
Because that’s what culture-building really is. It’s not a grand strategy deck or a corporate campaign. It’s the small choices we make in our everyday lives: to choose courage over comfort, connection over compliance, and truth over performative niceness.
In this edition, we take a detour, not into a boardroom or training room, but into the living room of John Joseph Strunks, a 90-year-old U.S. Army veteran in his 3 acre farmhouse tugged in the pristine by-lanes of Olympia, Washington.
What began as a chuckle over his carefully preserved Playboy magazines (why he has them documented so meticulously- click [here to read]) quickly turned into a soul-deep conversation on life, loss, and the kind of quiet inner strength that textbooks never teach.
Because sometimes, the most powerful lessons about how to stop pleasing and start living with integrity come not from a leadership coach or influencer but from someone who’s lived through both literal and emotional wars and still greets the world with curiosity.
This piece is a reflection, not on war, medals, or history but on values, choices, and the kind of emotional muscle it takes to stay true to yourself over nine decades.
In John's words and life, I found echoes of what it truly means to become a Culture Builder, someone who chooses authenticity, resilience, and inner clarity over approval. And I hope you will too.
In this edition, I’ll unpack John’s wisdom through simple but soul-shifting questions:
How can we age well and live meaningfully?
What does it really take to become a professional success?
What pivotal moment changed the course of his life? (This one changed something in me too.)
What does a soldier lose that a civilian never will and what can we all learn from that?
What professional values must we never abandon?
With the world facing growing tension, what is his advice to everyday people?
If he could put his 90 years of life into a capsule, what would he pass on?
Any personal relationship insights we all should hear?
Let’s hear from John!
Longevity has taken on a whole new dimension in recent years with biohackers like Bryan Johnson trying to reverse ageing in labs. But even as we chase youth through science, ageing’s most common shadow, dementia is quietly on the rise.
So my first question to John was simple, but urgent:
At 90, John moves with the ease of a 30-year-old, a charming Romeo still doting on his beautiful wife. He races playfully around the house with his four-legged bundle of chaos, who turns the place upside down every fifteen minutes. He still chops his own firewood, tends to his bees, and manages his sprawling farmhouse, not just surviving, but truly thriving. What’s the secret? What’s your advice for those of us who want not just a long life but a meaningful, mobile, and mentally sharp one?
Q1 “How do we live like you, John?”
John: Engage all your senses while learning. The more senses involved, the more lasting the learning. Stand, speak, touch, move, don't just passive listen. Activities that engage the non-dominant hand (like using your left if you're right-handed) keep the brain sharp. If you’re a geek, do more creative activities and vice versa. That’s how you keep ageing at bay.
Takeaway:
Cognitive stimulation and physical engagement are critical to maintaining mental health as you age. Play games, learn new things, use different parts of your body and brain. That’s John’s formula for longevity.
2: What do you credit most for your professional success?
John: The U.S. Army Ranger School. It taught me that the human body can do far more than we believe. “Mind over matter” wasn’t just a phrase, it became my way of life.
Takeaway: Tough training environments can unlock your highest potential. Stretching our limits builds enduring confidence.
Q3: What pivotal moment changed the course of your life?
John: A sergeant once presented me with a choice: “Be a soldier or be a drunk. But you can't be both.” That tough love became a turning point. I chose discipline and I quit drinking forever.
Takeaway:
Crisis clarity can change lives. The people who challenge us with hard truths often save us from ourselves.
Q4: What’s your take on profanity, curse words, and language discipline?
John: Profanity is often lazy English. Language is a tool, and the words we choose reflect our discipline and education. I avoids profanity entirely.
Takeaway: Precision in language mirrors precision in life. Choose words that reflect your values.
Q5: What does a soldier lose that a civilian doesn't?
John:
Right to Quit – In the military, you can’t just “not show up.” In civilian life, you can call in sick.
Promotions & Pay – Undisciplined behaviour can lead to a court-martial and end your career. In the civilian world, you might lose a job but you can find another.
Retirement Benefits – Non-performance can cost us our future security. Civilians have far more fallback options.
Takeaway: Military life demands deep accountability. Discipline is the currency of progress in general for all walks of life.
Q6: Any lifelong habits or professional values people should never abandon?
John: Whatever job you’re doing now is a stepping stone to your next. Show up, perform, and take every task seriously. Most people don’t lose jobs for lack of skill, they lose them due to tardiness and attitude.
Takeaway: Consistency and personal responsibility are more valuable than brilliance.
Q7: With the world facing tension, what advice do you have for common people?
John: The most important role people can play is teaching their children not just good values, but practical skills. Parents aren’t just shaping their children’s futures, they are the real nation-builders. I won’t shy away from saying that my grandson Alex and his partner Richa are my role model parents, the way they’re raising my great-grandson Kabir is exactly what I mean by true parenting.
Takeaway: The most powerful legacy is not war or politics: it’s raising kind, skilled and responsible humans.
Q8: Have you served in a war? What was that like?
John: Yes, I served in two wars: in 1961 and post-1972. I was a paratrooper. To be honest, I sometimes felt the U.S. may have been on the wrong side of history. (He shared a moment of silence here.)
Takeaway: War shapes perspective but it also teaches us the importance of questioning authority and building our own moral compass.
Q9. If you could pass down your life’s learning in a capsule, what would it be?
John: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Also, beware of people who give you most trouble, they’ll be the ones who give you the least in return.
Takeaway: Treat people the way you want to be treated. Help where you can, but don’t let people who cause trouble take your peace.
Q10. Any personal relationship insights from experience?
John: Men and women communicate differently. Men retreat to process; women talk to connect. Respect that difference. Learn to actively listen not just pretend to do so.
Takeaway: Understanding and patience are the foundations of meaningful relationships.
Q11. Before I closed the recording, I asked — “Do you have a question for me, JiJi Pa?” (That’s what his family affectionately calls him.)
John: “Was anything I said dead wrong?”
Even after nine decades of learning, John still values feedback and honesty.
I replied: “Nothing was off, JiJi Pa. You were a green signal throughout, it wasn’t red anywhere.”
He smiled.
Bonus Moment:
Later that evening, I shared the interview excitement with John’s family. His grandson, Alex, opened his phone and said, “I actually make notes of everything Grandpa says that I know is worth documenting and implementing”
The moment he opened his notes, I clicked a photo.
Here it is, titled most aptly: “John-isms”
I’ve come to believe that the most transformative lessons don’t always come from books, podcasts, or influencers on the internet. They come from the people around us - the ones quietly living with integrity, resilience, and heart.
One of the most powerful ways to upgrade our professional lives is to stop searching for role models in headlines and start noticing the everyday heroes sitting across from us, in our homes, our teams, our own cubicles.
That’s how I stumbled upon JiJi Pa. And that’s how many of the stories I’ve been documenting, some visibly, some quietly have found their way to this newsletter or on my @LinkedIn posts .
Because culture-building doesn’t begin with icons. It begins with deep attention.
Best | Shikha Mittal | Founder, Be.artsy
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Over the past 15 years, I’ve collaborated with 450+ organisations across 48 industries, designing and delivering culture & learning and developing programs impacting over 500,000 professionals through my enterprise, Be.artsy. which I founded in 2010 in Delhi, India. The impact of Be.artsy’s work led to it being documented as a Harvard Business School Case Study. Be.artsy’s work has been widely featured in national and international media outlets including Forbes India, BBC, DW Media.
People Please is a thoughtfully crafted newsletter for professionals seeking a fresh, honest perspective on learning and development, both personal and professional.
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